I have a friend who’s had feelings for his female friend for almost five years now. He’s told her how he’s felt twice and she just doesn’t reciprocate. And now he’s angry at her for being “led on.” That pisses me off to no end. Also, my cousin thinks he’s been placed in the friend zone by a girl he loves. This also pisses me off. So I decided to write a post about all this and since you follow me, you have to read it. (That’s how this works, right? You can’t scroll past until you’ve read every word?)
The friend zone doesn’t exist. At all. A girl is either interested you romantically or she’s not interested in you romantically. That’s all there is to it. Neither constitutes a “zone” that you can’t get out of. I’ve known people in high school who I would have sworn I wouldn’t be interested in and now, a few years later, I could definitely see the possibility of something happening. And who knows? Maybe in a few years it’ll go straight back to zero interest. I don’t know. The future is uncertain and it’s asinine to make blanket statements about someone that include “never” or “always” because you just don’t know.
But the biggest issue guys seem to have is they’re always trying to work their way out of the friendship designation they’ve received. And then, when (surprise, surprise!) the girl’s view of them hasn’t changed and they’re still just friends, they get mad at the girl! How does that make sense? It’s her fault that she didn’t develop feelings for you? Honestly, I don’t think guys even approach this stuff with a shred of rationality. I’ve know some pretty smart guys who still place the blame on the girl.
You can’t change what people think about you so there’s no point in trying. People’s perceptions change on their own with the passage of time. Who knows who you’ll be in five years? You could be a completely different man. Maybe then she’ll develop feelings for you. And, you know, maybe she won’t. Again, you don’t deserve feelings from her just because you like her and decided to try to win her over. It’s a crazy and illogical sense of entitlement that most guys seem to possess.
Personally, I don’t quite know what to do in these situations. I experienced it in early high school, so I know they suck, but I certainly wasn’t completely honest with her about how I felt. The only thing I do know is how not to proceed. Please don’t blame the girl if she never views you in a different light. If someone’s feelings change, they’ll change on their own accord; just don’t sit around for years and hedge your bets on it (though I suppose it’s your right to do that).
P.S. If you find yourself in this “friend zone” quite a bit and you bitch that nice guys are always put in the friend zone, know two things: 1) You’re not a nice guy. You’re probably a manipulator who doesn’t really see the girl in question as a friend/human being and instead tries constant ploys and tactics to make her love you. 2) Nice guys always end up with the girl. Truly nice guys, that is. You know. Guys who aren’t you.
Not quite as cool as this…but did ya’ll know there is a theatre in Las Vegas for 21+ that serves alcohol! Badass.a cuddle friendly movie theater!
THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING
EVERYTHINGI assume you mean “cuddle friendly” as in “sprawl out however the fuck you want”. At least, in my case.
Give!
omg where is this.
…We seriously need one of this in Vegas.
I know what I’m doing on October 26th.
“You have quite an opinion for someone who doesn’t know me.”
